I remember watching Apple’s WWDC 24 annual developers conference, and being wowed by all the cool AI stuff coming to iPhones. And iPads. And Macs. Yeah, yeah, it would require at least an iPhone 15 Pro to get all those neat Apple Intelligence tricks, but this is Apple, ya poor peasants. What do you expect?
But screw being poor. Nobody gives a shit, certainly not your country’s leader, and definitely not a billionaire chief of a trillion-dollar company. But let’s talk promises, asterisks (*) on press releases, and dashed hopes.
Apple already said that its AI features arrive in the Fall season, but didn’t say the wait extends well into 2025. Sneaky bois. Well, we get to know of this disheartening news from Bloomberg’s Mark Gurman, who apparently has a Godzilla-sized mole at Apple, feeding him information chipped from the company’s future plans.
Notably, these are the AI wizardry specimens that wowed us phone-addicted mortals the most, and which are going to arrive next year. Have a look:
1. It will most likely be limited to English, because that’s the world’s most important language.
2. Apple said Siri would dip into your messages, emails, and more information stored on your phone. Next time you ask it questions like “Hey Siri, when is Mark’s party where the group is gonna get shitfaced,” the AI assistant will glean information about the party from relevant conversations that happened in messaging apps, plans saved on the calendar, tickets sent on email, and more.
3. Thanks to the system called App Intents, Siri is supposed to dig into the functional and data reserves of third-party apps, as well. So, the next time you tell it stuff like “Hey Sir, pick up my cat’s dumb smiling pics, crop it from the sides, and send it to my cocaine-addicted friend Michael,” the assistant will oblige.
4. Siri will also be in a perpetually-aware state, reading and understanding whatever it is on your screen. So, let’s say you’re reading The New York Times’ coverage of the T20 Cricket World, and can’t understand the line “India beat Ireland 113-112,” just ask Siri and the assistant will (hopefully) explain what the hell cricket scores and victory margins mean. Here's how it all happens, from a research paper breakdown.
On the positive side of this war-infested overheated cosmic globe with more people than it can sustain, Apple will make its smartwatches and MacBooks thinner in the near future. And oh, in 2025, we might also get a skinnier — and pricier — iPhone. Just what humanity needs to redeem itself!