Look, I can’t guarantee that you will necessarily land a rocket if you follow all the dating guides online, but maybe, some scientific research can move the needle for you this Valentine’s Day.

According to fresh research, which has been published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, that text description on your dating profile decides whether you get laid, or spend the night playing Call of Duty with a bunch of hormonal teenagers on Xbox.

“When people wrote dating profiles to attract potential romantic partners, they more strongly expressed their desire to be known than to know their potential future partner. Yet, readers of these profiles were more attracted to those who professed interest in knowing them,” says the paper.

In other words, don’t just write a whole frikkin novel about your fantastic personality and exhaust the character limit. Instead, try to make it clear that you’re interested in knowing the other person who is reading your dating profile, instead of coming out as a narcissist obsessed with their six-pack abs or Lego collection.

Also, don’t sound desperate. Or write lines like “I want to explore the universe in your eyes and dip into the ocean of love within your heart.” That’s creepy. And terrible even by 15th century dating standards.

Credit: cottonbro studio / Pexels

Another peer-reviewed research published in PLOS One says you need to be original in the text description. A bit of humor and metaphor to sound intelligent goes a long way. Of course, it comes with the standard disclaimer. Don’t sound overtly horny, or put a calculus problem in there to sound sapiosexual.

A sense of purpose is also important. Here’s how a research from University of Washington in St. Louis explained that aspect:

"The four “purpose” categories were pro-social orientation, relationship orientation, financial orientation and creative orientation. Pro-social means someone with goals related to helping others; relationship orientation means goals are centered around family and finding a romantic partner; financial orientation has goals related to financial security; and creative orientation has goals focused on creativity and originality."

Alright, here’s one more, from the University of Iowa, which essentially tells you to keep it real. The person on the other end is more likely to swipe right on your profile if the details sound like an actual human being, instead of some arrogant overachieving dickhead who only sounds like a prince online.

Unsurprisingly, this study notes that most folks gravitated towards individuals with profiles that were upbeat but didn't blind them with their brilliance. People preferred interacting with those whose online selves didn't seem to be figments of the imagination but could actually be linked back to a living, breathing human being.

In simpler terms, put your Instagram profile in there. Also, don NOT link your Twitter profile on your dating persona, especially if you are shitposter, like the humble writer of this article.

(P. S. I am kidding. I am a very good boi!)

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