Hold onto your hats, folks, because Google Photos just became the ultimate stalker app! According to a recent report, Google has bestowed its Photos app with the extraordinary ability to tag people, even if their faces are as elusive as Bigfoot in the wild. Yes, you heard it right. The era of capturing memories without permission is officially upon us.

Imagine this: you're at a family gathering, innocently snapping away, when suddenly Google swoops in like a nosy neighbour, scanning the backs of people's heads and labelling them with astonishing accuracy. It's like having your very own digital Sherlock Holmes, minus the pipe and the fancy British accent. Elementary, my dear Photos!

But hey, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Google Photos must have acquired some sort of supernatural powers, right? How else could it possibly identify Aunt Mildred from the back of her head, even though she hasn't turned her face towards the camera since the invention of sliced bread? Maybe Google struck a deal with psychic mediums and hired them as their latest AI consultants. Who needs tarot cards when you have pixels?

Now, don't worry if you're a bit of a control freak. You see, Photos won't just go on a tagging spree without your say-so. If it's feeling a tad uncertain about its psychic abilities, it will politely nudge you to step in and tag the person manually. It's like a virtual assistant saying, "Hey, I'm 90% sure this is Uncle Bob, but could you please confirm? I wouldn't want to mistake him for Cousin Larry and ruin your precious family dynamics."

Credit: Google

Oh, and brace yourselves, because the fun doesn't stop there. Google has also graced us mere mortals with the power to transform our ordinary photos into works of cinematic genius. Move over, Spielberg!

With the new Cinematic Photo effect, you can turn your snapshots into epic tales of zooming-in glory. It's like Google is whispering in your ear, "You may not be a famous director, but we'll make sure your pet cat's portrait looks like it belongs at Cannes."

But let's not forget the true purpose of this ingenious update: to remind us that privacy is a myth. Google Photos now proudly sniffs out your loved ones from the back of their heads, infiltrating your precious memories with a touch of eerie omnipresence. Who needs consent, right? It's not like people have the right to control their own image or anything.

So, congratulations, Google! You've managed to create an app that can recognize faces from any angle, transforming us all into unwitting participants in a digital lineup. Who needs personal boundaries when you can have an all-knowing AI lurking in your pocket?

In the end, perhaps we should embrace this invasion of privacy with open arms. After all, if Google can figure out who we are from the back of our heads, imagine what they can accomplish with a simple glance at our search history. The possibilities are endless, my friends, and slightly terrifying.

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