X, the online hellhole formerly known as Twitter, has decided to hide Likes. Now, if you want to take a peek into someone’s X shenanigans by checking out their likes, that internet sleuthing is no longer possible. Look, I’m not saying you’re a silent depraved lurker or obsessed stalker, but the feature has done some good for humanity.

It’s a thoughtful measure, if you want to keep your online interests hidden from the world. Online privacy, yada, yada. But in the grossly underpaid profession that is journalism, an account’s likes are a clear indicator of a person’s REAL hobbies. Being humans, those hobbies often align with virtues like being horny, hateful, or occasionally, just jolly good fun.

Politicians and celebrities are no different. But imagine a 60-year-old elected minister whose public image is that of a saintly dude. And boom, his likes section has multiple big tiddy goth girl pictures, murderous wishes, and polished hopes of starving children in some sun-scroched Lithium mines. Or, a seemingly moderate public official liking racist shit that would even make Satan hide in a corner.

Yeah, yeah, I believe you, sir. Btw, how are your plans of putting kid seeds inside your employees? (Credit: Elon Musk / X)

There’s plenty of precedent for that. You see, likes truly expose the true nature of a person. Particularly, the kind of online content they like in the dark privacy of their room, oblivious to any scrutiny, and just engaging with what their heart likes. Elon Musk, the very rich credit-stealing billionaire who now owns X, is making the “likes” tab private.

In memory of a once-great social media feature, here are some incidents from the not-too-distant past where likes exposed some pretty popular faces. Take for example the Ted Cruz, a well-known Republican who advocated against the sale of sex toys. However, our guy here was caught with a like on a pornographic post, a profession known for liberal use of well... sex toys!

Credit: The Guardian

And here's one from a Fox News journalist, an outlet that Republicans love.

Credit: Adweek

Racism, police brutality, stupidy...  

Credit: CBS News

And here's one exposing, well, the shitty state of journalism from one of the finest (arguably) houses of journalism, The New York Times. Touche!

Now, it's going to be impossible to act surprised when you see some of your heroes liking digital filth, genocidal diatribe, and unhinged opinions from a privileged asshole. It has robbed us of so much entertainment.

If you're happy with the latest feature update at X, and plan to go an uncontrolled rampage of liking waifu stuff, satanic dicks, cultish orgy events, or xenophohic wetdreams, please keep your hormones from spilling into your hair-adorned thinking dome.

Preach, sis! (Credit: @msolurin / X)

This is Musk we're talking about. The guy who was reportedly asking multiple women at his space tech company to sleep with him, and wrote this, like a total loser when the woman didn't agree to his carnal advances:

"Probably best if we don’t see each other."

So yeah, a reversal can happen at any time. And when it does, a lot of folks who put their faith in the platform's invisible likes policy might get blasted with some serious reputation splooge.

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